Updation

I have not written in ages, and a number* of people have requested that I do so.  So here it is.  I have not been on blogger because, basically, I am really busy and important.  There has been no time to create amazing Shakespear productions, or to begin my 'feet and conversations' project.  I have, however, decided to start up my own sexual product line.  I have been inspired by the films of Derek Jarman, and given that products such as 'Halls' soothers and 'Jakemans' lozenges are popular, I think there could definitely be a gap in the market for 'Jarmans Lube'.  And 'Jubilee Condoms' if time permits.  Obviously I will not be using these products myself, but, I sold clothes pegs when I was in school and I don't use those either, so this project is bound to be a total success.  Move over 'durex', you sound too similar to 'dulux' anyway.  

I think some brand names are just silly. I used to like 'jiff' because it sounded like something would get clean in a jiffy, but now it is called 'ciff' which sounds like an abbreviation for syphilis. And I really do not care for 'cillit bang' because this also sounds smutty.

I have, with persuasion from my friend Kay-Woo joined a baton twirling troupe.  This is really fun, but at the competitions I keep losing to the fourteen year olds.  These competitions are combining two of my least favourite things: youths and losing.  Ugh.  I have made a friend, and we don't like the other girls in our category which is good, but I don't know if I like her either because I suspect her of being a hippy (she had a 'hemp' badge on her bag; I saw it).  My troupe is clearly the best, but at the last competition none of us won a 'princess' award which is wrong and unjust. Obviously I couldn't win because I am too queenly, but the others are all definitely princess-chic.

I am struggling with stain removal just now.  I have a red wine stain on my karate gi that just won't shift. 

Oohh that reminds me, I am now amazing at ironing:

Shirts - just do the front bit and them wear a blazer so that nobody sees the rest

Skirts - buy ruffled ones that don't need ironing

Dresses - get them dry cleaned so that you don't need to iron them

Trousers - these are quite easy because you just go up and down, there are no wibbly bits

Other items - just make sure you don't get tangled in the iron's cord if you walk around the ironing board

I would like to end this blog post with a nice happy thought: don't look down on people unless you are helping them up. Or taller than them, up a ladder, etc.

*One is number.

The Comedy of Errors

The Comedy of Errors was a production we had been planning for ages, and was not at all the result of too many bananas being ordered in an online shop.

Thank you to sainsburys for making this production possible.

Banana bread recipe:

4oz coconut oil

4oz coconut sugar (or brown, or any)

4oz maple syrup

2 eggs (beaten before added in)

8oz self-raising flour (or use plain with 3 level teaspoons baking powder)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

2 big bananas

Squeeze of lemon juice

1. Preheat over to 180C/350F.  Grease & line tin (I used a brownie one, you can also use a bread tin). 

2. Beat coconut oil, sugar and maple syrup in a bowl. Then beat in eggs, gradually.

3. Fold in flour and cinnamon.

4. Peel & mash bananas. Fold into the mixture.

5. Put in tin and cook for about an hour, or until risen and firm to touch.

6. Cool and eat.

Titus Andronicus

The Tempest

This production came out of a request for Shakes-pear productions to cast a pineapple as Caliban.  We believe in equal employment for all, and here is the result:

King John

Our production of King John using a cast of papayas came out a request from an amazeballs lecturer.  Papaya are good to work with, and do not bruise easily, unlike bananas, making Arthur's death scene easier to produce.  

Curtain.

Richard III

Production of Richard III:

Liz/Lisa - Chaucer chic.