Channel hopping

Channel hopping is a dangerous thing, especially late at night. The safest thing to do is to remain watching south park, and then go to bed before midnight.

Television starts to get freaky at midnight.

Firstly, there are all these shopping channels, trying to sell you crap that you don't need. Like monthly deliveries of make up, and monthly Zumba CDs. I like make up and I like Zumba, but monthly deliveries wold bankrupt me, and no amount of zumba with a beautifully made up face is going to help that.

Tonight I stumbled onto a sex show. Not porn or anything like that, it was one of those educational ones. And it worried me. Apparently I have a prostate that I never knew about. I thought only men had them. Which means I could get prostate cancer. And then I started worrying, because what if other people don't know that girls have prostates, and don't notice if I get the prostate cancer. While I was having a panic attack and googling where my prostate is, the show started talking about female ejaculation, and saying if feels like peeing. And looks like peeing. And could well be peeing, but happily. Not sure I want any of that.

Now being told by another shopping channel that if I buy their product I will look younger, be more relaxed and feel good about myself. It is a 'magic wand'. Pretty sure all the women in the advert have had Botox, so instead of buying their 70 pound cream I might just save up for that. Or get hold of some black widow spiders (botulin poison = Botox!) and start up my own salon.

To conclude, don't stay up late, and never ever watch channel five!!! Unless you are watching the hotel inspector. That, of course, is acceptable.

Or Colombo.