On Tuesday I have to go into hospital to have my broken nose straightened, and I am starting to feel a little nervous. Am seriously considering retiring from competitive battleships as it is just plain dangerous.
I have visions of myself sitting in a chair while a doctor hits my nose with a hammer to get it back in shape.
The worst thing about this is that my nose is not my best feature, so having this already beak-like orifice turn squint has been nothing short of traumatic.
I am seriously considering scamming the nhs for a free nose job. I quite like Disney noses, they are all little and cute. Or I could get a nose just like the queen, pretend I'm her missing daughter, usurp Charles and RULE.
Aahhh I'm hungry.
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