Temple run

Temple run is a game that certain members in my battleships crew are addicted to, and get very competitive as a result. Naturally I decided to get involved by trying to beat their high scores so I could be like 'hahahahaa'.

Sadly this is perhaps not meant to be. I keep running into trees, and the weird monkey things keep waving BBQ sauce at me in an intimidating fashion. I thought I had achieved a score of two million (meaning I would have accomplished my goal) but it turns out I can't count zeros and had a few thousand points.

Whilst playing this game, I started wondering about the runner:

Why did he go to an ape infested temple?
Where is he running too?
Does he have an umbrella in case it rains?

I find the baboon ape monkey whatever things so irritating that I am going to write to the makers of temple run proposing a new game:

Temple CHASE.

Because why would anyone go to an ape infested temple without a tranquilliser? In this fame you get to chase the monkeys and shoot at them with tranquilliser darts. I am using this form of attack to discourage children from becoming influenced by this game and start shooting monkeys with actual guns; my friend works in public health and told me that games and things really do influence people.

This means that the sequels to temple chase will be 'push over a cyclist', 'punch slow walkers in the ass' and 'headbutt rude teenagers'.

:)

Which reminds me, the other day I was almost assaulted by three children outside boots. One of them threw a mcdonalds milkshake at me, while one laughed and the other made an obscene gesture. Not sure why they laughed as they missed and demonstrated why they should be in school being forced to learn how to throw in p.e classes, but I was affronted nonetheless. It also worried me...kids are getting so confrontational these days and it is not safe. For all they knew I could've been a psychopath, in which case they'd have had the trauma of watching a twenty something year old licking milkshake off the floor. Or I could've been crazy aggressive and started ripping bricks down from the wall and biting them. Obviously I just ignored the little shits and walked on, but I found it worrying.