After checking my bank balance I have realised that the next logical step in my life is to become a WAG. I need money, clothes, shoes and the hot footballer part also sounds reasonable to me.
The problem is that I am not really WAG material. I do not look like Cheryl Cole or Posh. I do not think chubby knees can be considered an alternative to big hair.
The other issue is that I'm just not good at sitting and looking pretty. I'm excellent at running about like a mad hatter and sitting down after looking rough as fuck, but sitting pretty is not something I have mastered. I can look reasonably chic, but not every day. There are so many things to spill down your front, and things to trip over resulting in scuffed jeans. For some reason these 'things' always decide to act right before you run into an ex boyfriend, so all ex's think that post break up one has turned into a chaotic mess. Which is annoying, because 90% of the time I do actually manage to look presentable.
The more I think about this the less I want to be a WAG. It just seems really boring aside from getting to go shopping and living in a mansion. I don't think I'd appreciate magazines commenting on what I ate either...realistically I'd be called the fatty WAG because I am not a size zero and I like mars bars.
It looks like I am just going to have to work hard and make my own money. At least that way I still get to eat mars bars.
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