Another sensible entry

I've just survived the plague, and as a way of showing how grateful I am to survive, and give back to society, I have written a guide to overcoming illness:

1. Champagne and ice cream. This never fails.

2. If you're cheap (and your flatmate thinks you're joking when you ask for this), orange juice and carbs. I opted for crisps, chips, fortune cookies and chocolate.

(The weight gain keeps you warm, so don't stress over that)

3. To keep burning calories, and avoid gaining too much weight from your new healthy diet, keep complaining about being ill. Complaining burns CALORIES.

Just got distracted by H&M David Beckham advert. If that is a butt double, it will ruin my life.

4. Sleeping is boring, but pretending to be asleep is fun. And probably just as beneficial.

5. If you pretend you're eating salad when you're eating crisps, it feels healthier.


In other news, I really want a bronze of myself. It's much more flattering than clay, and much less narcissistic and cringe-worthy than portraits. I think a bronze would be a good power move...the postman will never dare deliver the wrong mail if there's a bronze of me in the hallway. I HATE it when other people's mail is delivered to my flat. You get your hopes up when you hear he letterbox rattle, and to find out it's not even for you is just intolerable. Especially when you've buzzed the postie in at 7am.

Also started playing a game called word game and am RAGING that I'm losing to someone who uses words like 'ba' 'be' 'jog' and 'nod'. He may have a PhD, but that does not make it any more tolerable.

Nnnggghhh