Friday

Today my friend and I went on a walk to Grouty Fairy, a small town near us. It was a long walk, and on the way we encountered many strange things.

Firstly, we were stopped from accidentally walking onto a cycle path by a security guard, who kindly directed us to the nearest footpath. However, his kindness did not distract us from the fact that there are security guarded cycle paths. Photographic ID is needed to access these cycle paths. I am not sure why; I have images of cyclists smuggling bushels and bits of twig. Perhaps they get caught in random bag searches. Maybe if there is mud on their bicycle tyres they have to return it.

We also found the second best kitchen shop EVER and I bought salt and pepper shakers, as well as a mini chopping board (for chopping little things). Almost bought a cheese knife, but it was too big to look good on my heart-shaped cheeseboard.

Went to the gym and there was a good looking man on a bike. After wondering if he had access to secret cycle paths, I started trying to send him psychic vibes of 'say hello to the nice girl on the cross trainer...' I then realised that I was on a cross trainer, wearing a baggy t-shirt reading 'I am not dead yet' and no make up, so began sending him vibes of 'stay where you are, ignore all cross trainers and go about your business'. Now understand why men I talk to look permanently confused; they don't know which psychic vibe to follow.

Also saw the frenemy in the gym...didn't look directly at her. Was surprised she even knows what a gym is; she looks to me as though she comfort eats A LOT - I like to think she does this out of repentance for ruining my life. I never comfort eat as I have more grit than that; I FURY eat.