Sea monkeys and Jeremy Kyle

I have three pregnant sea monkeys, and I don't know who the fathers are.   It may be the same boy sea monkey.  If the sea monkey babies are not provided for, I will have to take my aquarium on the 'Jeremy Kyle Show'.

Ate three cupcakes forgetting I need to fit into a dress for a dance on Friday.  Now ordering lots of vegetables in my online shopping to undo this.

Am going to start my own version of Jeremy Kyle.  I've thought about this before, and finally have a proper plan:

1.  DNA tests will be replaced with a coin toss.  Heads: you are the father of this child.

2.  Swearing will not be bleeped out, but the one who swears will find their seat ejects them five feet in the air.

3.  Physical confrontations will result in the individuals being made to fight it out in a pool of cat food.

4.  There will be no lie detector tests: whoever can hold their breath for the longest will be declared the truthful party.

5.  Jeremy Kyle will be replaced with David Cameron.  My aforementioned points probably involve methods he is familiar with in his capacity as prime minister.

That is all.