Karma

Today I have been thinking about karma.  This idea that when you do something bad, something bad will happen to you really bothers me, because lots of bad things happen to me when I've not done anything wrong myself.  This has led me to conclude that our interpretation of karma must be wrong.

1.  I do something bad.
2. The universe comes to get me.

We assume that when bad things happen to us, it is due to us being bad.  But what if we have the order of events wrong?  Consider this:

1. The universe bites me in the ass.
2. It is now my turn to do something to really hack somebody else off.

I think that when something bad happens to us, it is not 'karma' for something bad that we have done. I think it is the universe giving us permission to be bad ourselves.  So karma is actually reverse karma: when bad things happen to you, it is not your fault.  It is your turn to hide your flatmates porridge, or eat all your boyfriend's food.

Enjoy.

Cruisin'

Have returned from holiday, so everything is crap as it is no longer sunny and my tan is due to fade.  There is also no ice cream.  Schade.


When on a cruise ship, I have learnt that there are certain things you must avoid doing:

1.  'iceberg, right ahead!' - even if you say this when on the back of the ship (i.e. sailing away from the non-existent iceberg) people still panic.  So don't do it.

2.  'this lifts going down a lot  faster than usual' when in a crowded lift.  Only the deaf will remain in the lift with you.

3.  'what flavour ice cream is there?' when the sea is choppy.  People will get sick.


I still haven't unpacked.  My room is like the dead sea; near impossible to wade through when I need to put mascara on.  Which reminds me, putting mascara on when you are on a ship is near impossible, I kept jabbing myself in the eye.  Walking in heels was also a lot harder...I did my usual 'walking in heels routine' where I pretend I'm super Mario, and I get points for overcoming obstacles like steps, slippery floors, and pensioners.

I am thinking of learning a musical instrument again.  I'd quite like to revisit the piano, but I also really like the idea of playing the bagpipes.  I could be like the pied piper of Hamelin, and could adapt my skills to get all of the rubbish men out of Scotland, leaving only hot and eligible gentlemen.

I am on a boat.

Day two on the cruise...nothing much to report, except that the boat does rock about a bit, so I know I am on water. Walking on water, as it were. Like Jesus, except ever so slightly less religious.

The one thing I am struggling to cope with is my cabin...the stewards come in twice a day, and they TIDY it. They tidy away my shoes and my penknife!!! It's like having an over active mother. My room is so organised that I don't like it, it's made me away of my minor messiness, and my (self-diagnosed) OCD is now in overdrive.

In other news, the bikini is ON.

If you hear reports of an innocent girl being harpooned/thrown overboard for being too fat to sail/shot for being a water buffalo, that'll be ME.