Dredd 2

Previously on Dredd:

One of Lena's pals was rude to Anderson:

So she shredded him:

Four years on, Dredd and Anderson can still tolerate each other:

(Dredd on his motorcycle)

The end.

Further north

I have recently moved north and have been staying in student halls of residence. I have been keeping a diary to record my time here (as all intrepid explorers do).

Day one:

I have arrived in The North.  It is bitterly cold, but secretly I'm quite pleased because it means I can wear my furry hat without anyone raising an eyebrow.  I had forgotten what student accommodation was like; a bare small bedroom with a desk, pokey shower (I have no idea how a fat person would get in and out of this, I keep banging my elbows and have become entangled in the door), with a simple communal area.  The kitchen can never be clean now; the stains of the last few years have become part of the building.  There is a cupboard that has been optimistically filled with cleaning products: a hoover, an ironing board, and a mop which has never been used. The virgin mop.

Day two:

I went into work today, slipped on some ice and ripped my trousers.  Luckily the rip was at the crotch and I was wearing a long cardigan so no-one noticed.  I also had a hot chocolate.

Day three:

I decided to open my curtains to let some natural light into my room.  Unfortunately, there was none.  I surveyed my view: it was of grey concrete, with the odd dash of colour, which on closer scrutiny, turned out to be vomit.

Day four:

One of my flatmates cooked rice today.  I know this because I saw bits of rice on the kitchen counter when I went to fill up my hot water bottle.

Day five:

I am enjoying work, and have decided that I like almost everyone I have met.  My main grievance is with the radiator in my bedroom; it seems to be here solely for decorative purposes.  It emits 'lukewarm', not heat.

Day six:

My flatmate cooked rice again today.

Intermission: went down south for gas central heating and chips.

Day seven (in The North):

I have infiltrated student camp.  On my return from putting the bins out, I was invited into a student party, and handed a plastic cup filled with lurid purple liquid.  I subtly exchanged this for a bottle of corona.  I stood, trying to look inconspicuous.  On observation, these students seem to like shouting and spilling their drinks. I didn't finish my drink, and placed it on the counter as I slipped away. I saw a bloke wearing jeans that hadn't been washed in ten years picking it up and downing it, so all's well that ends well.