David Kirsch detox day one

Detox kit comprises:

Sachets full of powder. No food in sight. Hm.

First thing in the morning you have a grape flavoured detox sachet. This is fine. Grapey.

Then you have a vanilla milkshake.

Not fine.

I think I must have mixed it wrong, as reviewers say it is chalky and flavourless, but I found it was like drinking cake mix.

I didn't mix the super green blend in as the instructions say, as reviewers say not to do this. I am drinking it now mixed with water and the only way to describe it is that I am drinking green.

It's very green and tastes of green mixed with a hint of something sweet. Not sure 'berry' is accurate, Mr Kirsch.

At lunch you are supposed to have a salad with chicken or fish, sprinkled with lemon juice. Well I ate out today and it wasn't on the menu so I had soup and bread, meaning I've cheated already.

And I'm about to eat a creme egg.

To conclude, I don't think I'm very good at detoxing.

Poetry

I've been thinking a lot about the poems I like recently. I love T S Eliot, Spike Milligan, Ezra Pound, Margaret Atwood...

But I HATE a lot of other poetry.

My pet peeve is when these poets start banging on about the weather, and their feelings. Pathetic fallacy, yea yea yea we get it. But if you're living in the UK, and you get all emotional over a rain drop, how on earth can you cope?! If you lose it every time there's a rainbow, you aren't going to get very far.

Especially as I'm proposing a boycott of ALL THE WEATHER POEMS.

Let's end their reign of tyranny.